Why Bother?

Why do we bother working all the hours we do, what is the point of it all? What is the point in making money when there is little to no time to spend it? It is all too easy to lose sight of why we work so hard and spend so much time away from our friends, families and loved ones. Do you ever feel you’re on a treadmill and just want to step off and enjoy life?

When was the last time you went out and did something you really enjoyed that made you happy? It is important to make yourself feel good in this world not just others. If we are happy we can then give more to others, it is not a selfish act to put your feelings first sometimes. Today so many of us have lost sight of what life is about. We simply work 8 till late and then come home eat, telly, bed and then start all over again. What has happened to doing the things that make us happy, laugh or relaxed. Why are we spending all this time working and not choosing to make time to play?

If you had to plan your perfect day would you be able to do it now? Could you list 10 things that you love to do? These can be anything from having a drink at your favourite watering hole with a friend to skiing in the Alpes. What makes all the hard work worthwhile for you?

For most of us, the possibility of not working due to winning the lottery is not that high, some may say lightning chance, so we have to accept that we will need to work to maintain our present lifestyles. However, what can we do so that we are not just following the rat race and loosing life one day at a time?

What are some of the things we can do to get a balance and make time to do the things that make us happy? The starting point has to be knowing what it is that makes you happy, so make a list of your favourite day and all those things you want to do and love to do. Then start to do, begin to schedule in your activities in to your weekend and evenings and make life what you want it to be. Stay off the rat race and make life worth living.

Does a size 12 define us?

Why have we become so obsessed with numbers and what they mean in the weight loss/body shape world? I don’t believe there is a single woman who has not been upset because a certain size top, pair of jeans/trousers or skirt, did not fit her in a particular shop. And men are not exempt from this. And when these outfits don’t fit, we instantly feel it’s a, bad day or I’m fat and no good, this exercise/diet/healthy eating is just a waste of time, why should I bother, pass me the chocolate and crisps!! What is frightening is when the questions lead you to ask, ‘if I’m not a 12, who am I?’ As if a size is defining who you are.

There are many reasons we have ended up with these thoughts and beliefs, unfortunately they are not easy to stop, we can’t just say stop doing it. But if we can at least be come conscious of what is happening and know when it’s happening we are on the way to helping ourselves feel better. So what are some of the influence?

• Media
• Marketing
• Celebrities
• Peers and friends
• Learnt behaviours

Media, marketing and celebrities are constantly bombarding us with what we should look like, what we should wear and how to wear it. A question we should first ask is who said and will that suit me, someone who is not only bone? But this is not what we think or believe due to a life time of instilled beliefs and values and now it is very difficult to break these learnt patterns and behaviours. Instead we discuss it with friends and work colleges and fuel the situation further. Can anybody see the label in your clothing? Do people really look and think oh she is a size… or do they think she has good figure or do they not really care? I believe it is more about your own perception of yourself that you project onto what others might be thinking.

Manufactures also have a major part to play in the size war. How can we say we are, per say, size 12 when every brand of cloths is a different size, every style is a different size and I am sure you have experienced it before, sometimes even the exact same rack of tops/jeans are slightly different in size. If this is the case how can we ever be just one size? Most of us know what style makes us look good and what brands fit so why don’t we go with what will make us feel good and not set ourselves up to experience pain?

It is a sad a distressing time to think that if we don’t fit into a specific size we are not who we thought we were and are not good enough. Why not look outside the label and ask better questions, such as how do I look as me (not as a size), how do I feel and what is important in my world and if like most you’re not totally happy ask yourself ‘am I working towards that I want to be?’ If you’re not, why not start now to be who you what to be, not what a false media driven world tells you, you should be.

Sully - The Dream Catcher

Not long ago my friends four year old daughter, Lilly, started to have bad nightmares. So much so she did not want to go to bed. Her fast thinking father, Dan, rushed out and brought Sully the dream catching monster from the film Monsters Inc, one of Lilly’s favourite films. Dan explained how Sully would catch her nightmares before she had them and she would have no more bad dreams just happy ones. To all our amazement from that night on, as long as Sully is there, she never has bad dreams.
 
This got me thinking. If a blue cuddly monster can cause a child to believe so strongly that they are not going to have nightmares that they don’t, surly anything we believe strongly enough can be true.
 
The key to understanding this as a possibility is that no one see’s the real world, just their interpretation of the world based on their own values, past experiences and beliefs. If a bald headed, tattooed man walked into the room in biker kit, people would respond very differently. For example, if someone had been mugged by a man that matched that description, they are going to treat the man differently than someone who has a best friend that looks like that. We assess the world on what we have experienced before, what we think we know and believe.
 
This opens the floor to debate as to what is actually true and what is not. In fact, no one can ever say something is absolutely right, only their take on it from their past experiences, values and beliefs. Of course, there are something’s that are more likely to be common knowledge as we have all experienced them, be it in a slightly different way. For example too much chocolate will make you fat!
 
The question then has to be asked, if we personally believe something to be true and we get feedback confirming this (as we have looked for it), then surly it’s now true. Magic football socks for example. Many people have a pair of luck socks they wear under the football socks. Do we really believe they are lucky/magic or have we worn them enough times when the team has won to believe they bring luck?
 
The question I would like to ask is don’t we all need a Sully? Not just for dream catching but one that can allow us all to believe again in what we can be, achieve and do if only we believe. Can Sully be the creator of belief in adulthood?